1. I am traumatized from what was.
2. I am not ready to try again. When I say I’m not ready, I mean…I AM NOT READY.
3. That guy is cute, and I am going to stare at him shamelessly.
4. My priorities have moved away from a boyfriend to my friendships, and I like it. They were always cooler than you anyway.
5. I am currently in a “Fuck love. Love is bullshit” state. Now that's no way to start a relationship, now is it?
6. This one is important…I am NOT ready to give up my breakup bod.
7. I want to dance freely, without an awkward-shoulder-jiving-dance-clueless boyfriend at my side.
8. I want to blast T-Swift whenever the fuck I want. Just try to stop me.
9. I do not want to keep track of both my own, and someone else’s daily schedule.
10. It’s about time I pay attention to myself.
11. No I do not want breakfast burritos, chocolate croissants, a cheeseburger, and fries, followed by a milkshake.
12. No I do NOT want to learn about fantasy football and pretend to give a fuck.
13. Did I say I’m not ready to give up my breakup bod?
14. What is that word you say? Trust? Hmm I think I once knew what that was…
15. I repeat, I am not ready.