An Open Letter To My First Heartbreak



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By Megan Bayne



You were my first love and my first heartbreak. Who knew you'd be all inclusive?

You’re the guy that taught me how to love and be loved in return. You taught me how to give 100% of myself to another person. You taught me what I deserved in a relationship, and what I didn’t deserve. But above all, you taught me what it felt like to lose the best thing I ever had.

The moment I saw you, I knew you were everything I needed. You were kind, funny, loyal, and, not to mention, tall and handsome. Your demeanor was warm and friendly to everyone around you, and I always admired that – I still do. You were probably one of the best guys I’ve been with.

I’m sad that all went to shit.

Suddenly, everyone was right. Our love was just a high school fling. It wasn’t made to last, like we had hoped. We were just kids. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t real. It was probably one of the most genuine times I’ve been in love.

We had planned our future together. We talked about going away to college, our prospective jobs, getting married, and even having kids. To this day, you’re the only one I ever considered all of that with.

I’ve learned that you set the standard for every relationship after you. So far, they’ve never stacked up. I haven’t been able to get serious with anyone else. I guess it just turned out that they weren’t you. Maybe it’s because I’ve never trusted someone as much as I trusted you, and I’m not sure I ever will.

After all my dating, you’re still the only one I continue to check-up on via Facebook, and the only one I catch myself thinking about when I’m with someone else. I think, to some extent, I will always love you.

That part doesn’t bother me, I kind of expected that. But what does bother me is that we will never be friends again. Even before we started dating, you were my best friend. You were my rock through all the bullshit high school puts a teenager through. You were my one and only confidant. And since then, there hasn’t been another person like that in my life.

I’m sad that we will never truly be able to catch up and talk about where our lives went. It hurts to know that even though we had such a real relationship, we couldn’t be civil after it all went down. It was ugly, I know, but sometimes I wonder if things would be different if it wasn’t.

Would we have tried the “let’s get coffee” thing? Would we have gotten back together a few years down the road? Or would we have been able to become really good friends again? I guess we will never know.

But even though our romance ended in bitterness and heartbreak, you will always be my one. The one I loved first. The one that taught me so much about myself. The one I won’t ever forget, no matter where we end up.

So, I want to say thank you. Thank you for the time we shared together because you changed my life.

No, we didn't end up together, but you will always be a part of my history. Now, I can only hope you think of me in the same way.

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Megan Bayne

Megan is a 22-year-old Jersey girl, living it up wherever life leads her next. She transforms her inspiration to yours.

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