Divorce hurts, and that’s why it’s oftentimes ranked alongside death as one of our biggest fears in life. Managing emotions, finances, and family can be extremely overwhelming. This is why we were eager to hear the episode of Girlboss Radio where Sophia Amoruso interviewed her very own divorce attorney, Laura Wasser.
Wasser offers some really insightful advice on how to make the process of divorce less painful and what we were particularly interested in; how to (hopefully!) avoid divorce next time around. Her mission is to make divorce less expensive and complicated, which is why she launched her own divorce platform It’s Over Easy.
Here’s her advice:
1. Clear expectations enable you to stay together longer
Discussing practicalities is important, like how you plan to save for vacations, what will happen when each person’s parents get old and need care or support, how to manage children, work and child support, and general boundaries and expectations. Although these matters aren’t sexy or romantic, they’re important to get clear on before a couple gets married, so that expectations are out on the table.
3. Mutual respect is key
Couples who enjoy successful marriages have mutual respect for each other. Wasser advises that carving out time for your partner, regardless of what other obligations you both have, is key to a healthy relationship.
4. If you think something, say something
When it comes to red flags and being able to work through these early on, she says a big one is when you can see someone is thinking something but not saying it. By getting these things out, no matter how small or big, it avoids the cycle of resentment and anger, which can drive one person to cheat or sabotage the relationship.
5. If it’s not working, find your team
If it does come to divorce, Wasser suggests you carefully curate a team of people who can help you through it, including therapists, friends, childcare support and coaches. When you’re getting back on your feet and dating again, this support system will come in handy.
6. “Everybody is the same.”
When it comes to relationship fears, she says, “Everybody is the same. We all have the same fears, sadnesses, and frustrations. Whether you have six zeros after that number in your bank account or three zeros after that number in your bank account, you still are worried about the same thing.”
It’s a good reminder that we’re all just doing the best we can with what we have.