When You Feel Like You Can’t Make It Over The Hump

Every day I am faster. Every day I go longer. Every day it hurts less.

I started running at sunset after my last breakup. It had been a while. I hadn’t made time for this ritual in the last months of my relationship because I was busy with so many other things. I didn’t realize how much I had missed it.

On my first run, I could barely make it to the beach. I was in such poor shape, sleep-deprived, and stressed. My lungs hurt. My body, though thin from sadness, felt impossibly heavy. I was running through water. I had to stop once, and then again, and then again. I saw the sunset, but it felt empty. I felt nothing.

The next day, it felt the same.

The day after that, it felt the same.

But the day after that, I made it to the beach without stopping. I was still slow, but I felt lighter. My lungs hurt, but I had more energy. I enjoyed myself for two whole minutes before I started thinking about how exhausted I was. I didn’t stay to watch the entire sunset, though. I just wanted to go home.

The week after, I made it to the beach at full speed. I hopped up the curb of the final block. I felt stronger. I watched the sunset and, though I felt sad, I could see that it was beautiful. I felt a part of me coming back. I had made it over the hump.

Today, I made it to the beach in record time and I just kept going. I forged a new path, a route I’ve never run before. I saw new houses and new people. My body felt light and strong. My breathing was calm. I forgot I was running. Instead, I focused on the sunset. I marveled at all of the colors and how quickly they changed. I sprinted the last block home, smiling.

Every day I am faster. Every day I go longer. Every day it hurts less.

This is how I feel about running, and this is also how I feel about heartbreak.

At first, you will not think you can make it through a minute. But then you do. Then you make it through an hour. Then you make it through a day.

Maybe the next day doesn’t feel better, but a few days later you will feel lighter. You will be able to enjoy a fleeting moment.  After more days, your appetite will be back. You will sleep again. You will start to enjoy beauty again. You will laugh again. 

One random day may knock you down, and you will wonder if you’re making any progress. On that day, you will need to be extra kind to yourself. 

Eventually, though, you will go minutes and then hours and then days without thinking about your heartbreak.  You will forge a new path, a new route, and you will keep going. You will make it over the hump.

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