How To Mend When You Have To See Your Ex At School

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By Laura Yates


Knowing you’re going to have to see your ex at school is definitely something that weighs on your mind after going through a breakup over the summer. So, we’ve put together some tips that will enable you to deal with the situation with as much grace, ease and calm as possible.

1) Take time to breathe beforehand

While it isn’t possible to completely eliminate the nerves and anxiety you’re bound to feel, by doing some simple and long ‘in’ and ‘out’ breaths for a couple of minutes before you head into school or before you know you’re going to see your ex, this will get your body into a place of calm instead of panic. Try and make the out breath longer than the inhale. This will really help prepare and relax your body and mind.

2) Know that it’s bound to be awkward

For all the fears that you have, your ex is probably having these too, or at least in their own way. So just know that it’s going to be tricky for the both of you. When you see each other it’s going to be awkward at first, as there is no way around that. Try and make peace with that, know that it will be over soon and then it doesn’t have to become too much of a big deal.

3) Know that you have control over how much you want to engage

Don’t feel pressured to engage in conversation with your ex. If it’s necessary, while being polite usually creates more calm around the situation and shows that you can hold your head high, don’t feel like you have to have to have any type of conversation beyond that with your ex. Have your boundaries and don’t be afraid to stay true to them.

4) Don’t create drama

Try not to make the breakup and your ex all you talk about. In school, word can spread easily and can also be misinterpreted or misconstrued and it will only keep you stuck. So do your best to focus on other more positive things. The more you handle the situation with grace, the less it will become a big deal and the sooner you’ll be able to move on.

5) Embrace this new chapter

Even though your ex is around, the start of a new school year also represents new opportunity, fun, growth and the chance to make new memories. So commit to these things and enjoy the thought of a new page and new start. There will be plenty of other events, classes, friends and goals for you to embrace rather than just seeing school as a place where your ex will be.

Finally, know it will get easier in time. School offers so many distractions and you’ll very likely surprise yourself at how much easier moving on will get once those first few moments of awkwardness have been dealt with. So just trust that the way you feel now, will soon be a distant memory.

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Laura Yates

Laura is a coach, writer and speaker specialising in helping people to bounce back, relieve stress in their lives, heal and transform their everyday. Laura has been featured in VICE, Glamour, Match.com, Eharmony and the Daily Mail plus others. You can find Laura, her blog and website at www.laurayates.org

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