Lauryn Evarts is the blogger behind The Skinny Confidential, a site that is all about creating a healthy lifestyle through balance. Her blog is a platform where she shares recipes, workouts, fashion, home décor, travel itineraries, personal stories & more. Lauryn recently published a book in her blog's namesake and is currently working on releasing a product line.
We asked Lauryn some questions about heartbreak and she opened up about her post-breakup rituals and the key to a happy relationship.
If you think back to the first time you were heartbroken, what advice would you give to that younger version of yourself?
"Heartbreak is something everyone typically goes through. The biggest piece of advice I have is just to learn from the experience. Learn why things worked, why things didn’t, what you want in a partner & what you don’t want. Don't settle! You can use that knowledge going forward to improve all of your relationships. Heartbreak provides the contrast necessary to really appreciate the love in your life."
What has heartbreak taught you about yourself?
"Heartbreak taught me the importance of valuing yourself first. No one can take that away from you. As cliche and as annoying as it sounds it really is the most necessary part of love. It all begins with you."
What are your rituals during a breakup? What things/practices/people helped you mend?
"Honestly, I haven’t had to deal with a break up in YEARS. But if I were to go through that now I would say get out of your head. When I’m upset, stressed or angry I find the best way to release that energy is to exercise. It releases endorphins & I always find myself calmer afterwards. Meditation is also a great tool for calming your mind. I get outside myself."
Thinking back to breakups you’ve had, did you have any breakup vices (checking your ex’s Insta, etc) and how do you conquer them?
"Out of sight out of mind. Anytime a relationship ended I would just go dead silent on the ex. While the desire to check their social media or talk about them may be strong I find it even more rewarding to be silent & not spend your energy on them. The relationship ended for a reason. Harness that energy & focus on something else like building your business or spending more time with friends & family."
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned about love so far in your life?
"Don’t settle. Relationships worth having take work & there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Michael & I fight. You’re going to fight, that’s normal. You have to make sure you don’t attack each other on a personal level. Remember you’re a team at the end of the day. What’s important is that you bounce back quickly. We don’t stay mad at each other for very long. Recovery is key."
Do you think exes can be friends? Do you stay friends with your exes on social media?
"Every relationship is different so I think that’s incredibly situational. Sometimes it works & sometimes it doesn’t. It depends on why you’re remaining friends, if you were friends before, how the relationship played out, etc."
What keeps your heart open, despite the heartbreaks you’ve had in your life?
"Life has it’s ups and downs. Not every day will be rosy & full of sunshine but that doesn’t mean you should stay inside all the time. You have to put yourself out there & be uncomfortable to reap the greatest rewards."
What is your favorite song about heartbreak?
"I love 80’s. A sucker for so many."
What projects are you currently working on, and looking forward to most?
"Right now I’m getting ready to release an Anti-Inflammatory Plan for the Bombshell Body Guide. We’re also working on some SUPER fun product launches in the next couple of months. Michael & I are really enjoying podcasting right now too. It’s incredible to be able to connect with readers & listeners in a new format."