Jules Miller is the founder of The Nue Co, a company that makes supplements using organic foods. She turned to supplements when work and stress got in the way of eating right but struggled to find a brand that resonated with her. We talked to Jules about high school heartbreak, and why she went on a temporary “man ban.”
If you think back to the first time you were heartbroken, what advice would you give to that younger version of yourself?
“It was with my high school sweetheart. We’d been together for 3 years and clearly…at 17…I thought he was the one. We’d been blissfully in ‘love’ throughout school but everything changed in our gap year. He wanted freedom, he wanted out. We broke up at a bus stop I dragged him to after he tried to break up with me over text. I remember being beyond over-dramatic, as if the world was ending.
We ended up getting back together shortly after, but the love in me had died at that bus stop. We went on for a further 3 years (!) before officially calling it quits. I did the quitting, and sadly no tears were shed on my part.
The advice I’d give to my younger self is to always accept people for who they are. Love because you feel it, not because you want to. I used to get very carried away with myself and always see what I wanted to see in people / life / situations. I try to be a bit more realistic now. It’s a good way to protect yourself.”
What has heartbreak taught you about yourself?
“I’m great in a relationship, but I’m also great on my own. I always tell my friends to relish their single periods. Being single means you have the privilege to not have to compromise. Nothing is worse than being in an unhappy relationship, it’s far worse than being single.”
What are your rituals during a breakup? What things/practices/people helped you mend?
“Absolutely cut off all communication. I really do not believe that any two people who are currently or have been previously in love, can breakup and continue some sort of relationship from the get-go. Eventually, maybe. But time is the greatest healer, and for a hot-headed Colombian woman like me, it’s an absolute necessity.
Do anything that makes you feel good about yourself and makes you feel in control over your happiness. Anything from getting back into fitness, starting a new job or a holiday with friends.”
Thinking back to breakups you’ve had, did you have any breakup vices (checking your ex’s Insta, etc) and how do you conquer them?
“I’m pretty black and white and not a very jealous person, so I didn’t really have issues with checking up on exes. I think when I was younger I did, but that was before Instagram ever came into play and FB was still pretty private.
I suppose my biggest vice is being too impulsive and making decisions in the heat of the moment i.e replying to texts, answering calls. I just remind myself that there is no reason to rush anything. Give time and things slowly get better.”
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned about love so far in your life?
“Love rarely happens when you are looking for it, and its rarely what you expect.
When I met my current boyfriend I was on a ‘man ban’. I’d been on too many bad dates and dated too many losers to really have the energy to do it anymore. Charlie came along and we agreed to be just friends, which quickly turned to best friends. I could have never predicted we’d end up together when we first met, our friends would speculate but I’d always insist we had absolutely no feelings for each other. Looking back on it, I think I probably loved him within weeks of knowing him. Being around him always made me feel excited and relaxed at the same time. We had an automatic connection and from day 1 we wanted to spend all our time together, not because we had to but because we genuinely wanted to.
I doubt I wouldn’t have launched my company without him. I know that no matter how crazy my day is, how many email ‘bombs’ I have to dismantle, how many rejections I get – he’s always there telling me to keep going. I suppose that’s what love is, bringing out the best in someone. Whether that be a family member, friends or your partner.”
Do you think exes can be friends? Do you stay friends with your exes on social media?
“I don’t have any specific rules – but generally I haven’t. Life happens and you choose to spend the little spare time you have with people you genuinely love. For some that may be your exes – unfortunately for me it’s not.”
What keeps your heart open, despite the heartbreaks you’ve had in your life?
“I have a pretty good relationship with myself. I try to be in touch with my inner voice and I’m kind to her. I know what I can offer, and what I can’t – and I’m OK with that. I suppose that comes from experience (and age!)
I think it’s also always good to think about the world outside of you to put your heartbreak into perspective. There are people going through unbelievable heartache, if they can do it – so can you.”
What is your favorite song about heartbreak?
What is your favorite movie about heartbreak?
“I’m not big into heartbreak movies. But if you need mindless entertainment and something to really make you think about nothing – put Geordie Shore on :)”