#howimend: Singer Lily Lane On Finding Real Love Post-Heartbreak


By Kate Paguinto

In the past 6 years Lily Lane has established herself as a singer/songwriter, body activist and feminist. Her haunting song about heartbreak "Nothin' But Trouble" was featured on Pretty Little Liars and she's opened for Big Time Rush, Cody Simpson, Greyson Chance and Hot Chelle Rae on tour with Nickelodeon. Lily refined her sound at the Clive Davis Institute of Recorded Music at NYU, where she learned from legendary teachers like Questlove and Swizz Beat.

We asked Lily about her experience with heartbreak and she opened up about finding love after ending a toxic relationship.

If you think back to the first time you were heartbroken, what advice would you give to that younger version of yourself?

"My first heartbreak was in high school, and I dated a guy who serial cheated on me for 2 years. It was the only love I had ever known, so it was the only love I thought was out there. I would tell myself that there is such better love out there, and that the love of your life is a dog anyway, so don't worry about it."

What are your rituals during a breakup? What things/practices/people helped you mend?

"I listen to Mary J Blige "I'm Goin' Down" on repeat and belt it out until my voice is hoarse. I do a lot of Soul Cycle because it distracts me from my thoughts. The only thing that can really help you mend though is time, so I just try and get through it."

What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned about love so far in your life?

"That the most important love is the love you have for yourself and the people who have always been there for you, and those who celebrate your successes. Not romantic relationships. And this is coming from a girl who is probably in the relationship with the love of her life and has been with him for two years."

Do you think exes can be friends? Do you stay friends with your exes on social media?

"Yes. If you had that much love for someone it's not just going to disappear. I cheer on my exes successes, and feel bad for their failures. I wish the best for them, and know they wish the same for me."

What keeps your heart open, despite the heartbreaks you’ve had in your life?

"Knowing that there was someone before him/her, and there will be someone after. I think it's a lot harder if it's your first love to keep that perspective, but for me, I've been through it, and I know I could get through it again. Thankfully, I don't think I'll have to, but if for some reason I do, I'll be fine. Especially having my dog, I feel like I have a pretty good support system of non-romantic love that keeps me going."

What is your favorite song about heartbreak?

"My favorite song I've written about heartbreak is "Nothin But Trouble" or a new one (unreleased) called "Best Thing (That You Ever Had)". By someone else I'd have to go with "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. I listened to it a lot during my first breakup and it's a song that doesn't let you wallow in self pity. It makes you feel like a badass."

What is your favorite movie about heartbreak?

"My Week with Marilyn. It's not really about heartbreak but it breaks my heart."

writer photo

Kate Paguinto

Kate is a Content Strategist and co-owner of Dizzy Cactus. She likes puns, Wes Anderson, and the Oxford comma.

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