#howimend: YouTuber Ally Hardesty On Being Single + Independent


By Kate Paguinto

Ally Hardesty is a California-based YouTuber who shares product reviews, video diaries and beauty tutorials with her followers. She gets candid about her personal experiences and crazy stories, which she talks about in her Storytime videos. We asked Ally about her experience with breakups and she shared how keeping busy and staying off social media helped her heal post-heartbreak.

If you think back to the first time you were heartbroken, what advice would you give to that younger version of yourself?

"If I think back to the first time I was heartbroken, the advice I would give my younger self would be ABSOLUTELY to know my worth."

What has heartbreak taught you about yourself?

"My first heartbreak taught me that I’m stronger than I think I am and how necessary it is to be happy & independent in a relationship with yourself FIRST before finding that special someone."

What are your rituals during a breakup? What things/practices/people helped you mend?

"During a breakup, the biggest thing for me has always been to make a list of all the reasons why I no longer want to be with that person. This could be things they did to hurt me (big or small) or personal reasons as to why I’m better off single. This may sound strange but it's always helped to remind myself NOT to go back to that person and that we broke up for a REASON (and also to get over them)."

Thinking back to breakups you’ve had, did you have any breakup vices (checking your ex’s Insta, etc) and how do you conquer them?

"After a breakup, I try to force myself to keep busy and be as social as possible that way it is easier to take my mind off what my ex may be doing. Also, BLOCK their Instagram & refrain from snooping on your friend’s accounts."

What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned about love so far in your life?

"The biggest lesson I’ve learned about love so far in my life is that people are not always meant to be in our lives forever regardless of how much we love them and to treasure it while it lasts."

Do you think exes can be friends? Do you stay friends with your exes on social media?

"I think that exes can stay friends if it wasn’t serious or a tremendous amount of time has passed but feelings will most likely remain. I am friends with some of my exes on social media but for the most part they are out of my life (including social media) for a reason."

What keeps your heart open, despite the heartbreaks you’ve had in your life?

"What keeps my heart open, despite the heartbreaks I’ve had in my life is the feeling of being in love when it happens. I believe that these heartbreaks shape us into the people we were meant to be and help to teach us important lessons, eventually leading us to the right person."

What is your favorite song about heartbreak?

"Ahhh so many… One of my favorite songs about heartbreak would definitely have to be “Hello” by Adele. Makes me cry every time lol."

What is your favorite movie about heartbreak?

"My favorite movie about heartbreak would definitely have to be "The Notebook" as the main character’s name is “Ally”. Ha!"

writer photo

Kate Paguinto

Kate is a Content Strategist and co-owner of Dizzy Cactus. She likes puns, Wes Anderson, and the Oxford comma.

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