Rachel-Lee is a Toronto-based organization expert and blogger on lifestyle design. We asked Rachel a few questions about heartbreak and she opened up about how she stays #onthemend after a breakup.
If you think back to the first time you were heartbroken, what advice would you give to that younger version of yourself?
“Feel whatever it is you have to feel, cry, scream, act as if the world is ending, you are allowed to feel pain but know that in time the pain will be gone and the world isn’t actually ending.”
What has heartbreak taught you about yourself?
“That I do not make the same mistakes twice.I learn from every relationship and take it all on board.”
What are your rituals during a breakup? What things/practices/people helped you mend?
“Spending time with friends & family, keeping busy and talking about it. I talk to different friends all about the same things as it doesn’t put too much pressure on one friend if I share the talking over a few. I find they wont get too weighed down if I’m not constantly talking to the one person about it.”
Thinking back to breakups you’ve had, did you have any breakup vices (checking your ex’s Insta, etc) and how do you conquer them?
“Not checking their social media is the key. During my last break up I didn’t check their socials at all. Forced myself not to look because I knew better.”
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned about love so far in your life?
“Do not ever be co-dependent, never rely on someone else for happiness and you can not know what you truly want until you can be purely happy on your own.”
Do you think exes can be friends? Do you stay friends with your exes on social media?
“I think cutting an ex out is the best thing. You can not see them or speak to them until time has healed your wounds. Once you have been healed then I do think its ok to be friends. I am still friends with some of my exes from when I was younger.”
What keeps your heart open, despite the heartbreaks you’ve had in your life?
“Honestly my heart isn’t open, I have spent the last year working on myself and while I am trying to date now I am not fully open and it’s going to take time to open back up, but I know it will happen in due time and I know that I can’t run away from difficult situations. I have to overcome them in order to move on and love again.”
What is your favorite song about heartbreak?
“I don’t listen to music during break ups. I associate music with feelings and after a break up I do not need songs to remind of times when things felt different.”
What is your favorite movie about heartbreak?
“I will not put myself through watching movies with love stories. I avoid things that will bring up feelings.”
What projects are you currently working on, and looking forward to most?
“Growing my business, working more on myself and growing as a person, and the travel plans I have. Nothing feels better than getting out of your life and exploring the world to get some perspective.”