Sami of The Bad Years Shares Her Breakup Advice + What Inspired Their Single "Common Mistake"
By Elle Huerta
We love a good song about relationship struggles at Mend, and this oh-so-catchy new tune from The Bad Years (Sami Akbari and Aaron Mort) tackles one big struggle we often bring upon ourselves: trying to change someone we love. Whaaat? Who ever tries to do that?
Okay, we are probably all guilty of this. And that's why I like this song. The track was recorded here in Los Angeles at their Thai Town home studio, and it was mastered by Brian Lucey (Chet Faker, Arctic Monkeys, Delta Spirit).
We got a few minutes with Sami to talk about their inspiration and how she maintains a sense of self in relationships. For those of you in the Bay, you can catch them live in San Francisco at Brick + Mortar on January 21st. For the rest of us, we can enjoy their brand new video.
What was the inspiration behind Common Mistake?
Common Mistake is about the eternal relationship struggle: wanting the other person to change certain things about themselves or how they approach things but only being able to focus on changing yourself. You can’t make other people change, people! This song is about that mistake that everyone makes.
I really love the lyric "I lost my way within you" because I think so many of us lose ourselves in relationships. What helped you find your way again?
I do think that people can lose themselves in relationships. It’s hard not to and sometimes it’s fun to just lose yourself in another person that you love so much. But I do think it’s important to retain your identity independently of the relationship. It helps to spend time alone, read, do activities solo, have girls nights etc. so that you are maintaining that very important and vital relationship with yourself and others outside of your significant other.
If you have just broken up with someone and you forget what life was like without them, it’s important to get off the couch and be active; discover things you maybe were missing out on while you were in the now defunct relationship, spend more time with friends and family.
Most importantly, it is vital that you are okay on your own. If you are happy on your own, you’ll be less likely to end up in an unnecessary relationship where you are possibly not being treated the way you deserve to be treated. An awesome boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse should be the icing on the cake, not what your life revolves around!
What are your must have items after a breakup?
Friends! Does that count as an item?
Yes! An important one. What's your favorite song about heartbreak?
I’m not sure it’s exactly about a specific relationship failure, but more just feeling alone and the failure of romantic relationships in general and it is so. heartbreaking: Tall Trees In Georgia. Eva Cassidy’s version in particular. Aaron’s input: The Everly Brothers version of Bye Bye Love.