“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." - Irish Epitaph
Sometimes the end of a relationship falls completely outside of the hands of the parties involved. There's no breakup, there's no fight, there's no dismantling of a relationship. Sometimes life just takes a turn and we lose someone, unexpectedly or with a little warning, or with a lot of warning. Though at Mend we deal with mostly heartbreak caused by people who are still with us, we know that there are many readers who may be dealing with heartbreak of a different kind. And while we can't begin to understand the grief and sorrow of losing a partner, we did want to share a few stories below that may bring some comfort.
"Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband -- the first 30 days. Judaism calls for a period of intense mourning known as shiva that lasts seven days after a loved one is buried. After shiva, most normal activities can be resumed, but it is the end of sheloshim that marks the completion of religious mourning for a spouse.
...I have lived 30 years in these 30 days. I am 30 years sadder. I feel like I am 30 years wiser."
- Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg in a raw and honest post on grieving the unexpected loss of her husband. (facebook.com)
"For a long time, I felt like I existed in a sort of parallel universe, waiting for him to come back. Only in the last year have I started to feel like I’m really living for myself again. Sometimes I worry that I’m too different, that he wouldn’t be in love with me if he saw me now.
Then I think, I’m different because he loved me."
- Lela shares her experience of losing her boyfriend to an illness. (xojane.com)
"Amidst the Kardashians, cat videos, and empty news reports, we’re finding that people are really hungry to talk about deeper questions about why we’re here, and to share the parts of themselves they otherwise keep hidden."
- Co-founder Lennon Flowers on The Dinner Party, a community of young people who get together over potluck dinners to talk about how to thrive in #lifeafterloss. (thedinnerparty.org)
"You’re allowed to be sad. For as long as you want. The person is worth grieving."
- Blogger Jo Goddard on grief. (cupofjo.com)