A red spiral-bound notebook is what you use to take notes, write reminders, etc. Leafing through the pages to find a space that didn’t have chicken scratch all over it, you notice a folded up piece of paper tucked away.
Upon opening that piece of paper, you immediately wished you hadn’t.
Don’t panic. Instead of slumping over into the fetal position clutching at your heart like you’re having Angina, just try to walk it off. Do jazz hands. Something to try to diffuse the energy that is upon you.
DON’T READ IT. I REPEAT….DON’T READ IT.
Okay, so you read it. It isn’t the end of the world. You relive those feelings briefly and then can go back to your busy day.
Now you’re crying. Fuck. Are there any customers around? No. You’re in the clear. Okay. Do that thing where you pucker your lips and breathe in and out super audibly until you can gather yourself because right now you look like a little kid who dropped her ice cream cone.
Don’t get angry. Things happen for a reason, so getting mad about it won’t solve anything. Just continue with those jazz hands and you should be fine in no time.
Don’t text him. Don’t text him. Don’t text him. Don’t text him. Your last conversation didn’t go well. Don’t text him. Don’t text him. You have him as “DON’T DO IT” in your phone for a reason. Don’t text him. Don’t text him.
Don’t get mad at yourself. Understand that feelings aren’t always kind. The sad/bad/mad ones always seem to hit you at the worst possible time. It isn’t your fault, you’re a human being. Learn to live in the present, feel what you’re feeling, and then get back to your day.
Don’t read the Beatrix Potter book you mentioned in the letter, that you lug around everywhere, because that will probably just make you more depressed.
Eat something. That’s what you were trying to do in the first place, and maybe it’ll make you feel a little better.
Don’t let it affect your work. Even though work is extremely stressful as it is, and you’re overwhelmed over things you shouldn’t be, don’t let it push you over the edge. At least wait until you get home to have a full mental breakdown.
And last but not least:
Know that everything is going to work itself out. This situation is crazy. Anyone who is reading this won’t really understand the situation because it isn’t something you’d want to completely broadcast over the internet. There are many facets to what happened, and to why you are this way about this whole thing.
Everything is temporary. This sinking feeling in the pit of your gut will go away eventually. You’ll stop being crazy over this guy, eventually. You’ll stop tearing up when things like this happen, or when you hear a song that reminds you of him. You’ll stop feeling so hurt eventually, and eventually, you’ll stop writing about him.