When I first started Mend, I had the great pleasure of interviewing the lovely Lindsey Tramuta, the writer behind the very popular Lost In Cheeseland blog and voice of The New Paris podcast. She is now also the author of the best-selling book The New Paris, and The New Parisiennes (out July 2020). She has a pulse on the real Paris that you don’t see on Instagram. If you love Paris or plan to visit, be sure to check her books beforehand.
In her own words, “I’m a Paris transplant from Philadelphia who fell in love with a Frenchman and moved to Paris. Cliché, right?”
Not to us! Her story is as dreamy as her blog, and years ago when I stumbled upon one of her older posts where she mentioned she initially arrived in Paris after a breakup, I knew she would have some wisdom to share.
Ellen: When you moved to Paris, where did you like to go solo? Were there places you went or things you did that helped you heal?
Lindsey: When I moved to Paris, I had already met someone new actually. And while I was still healing and wondering if this fresh connection would develop into something sustainable, I was willing to let him lead the way. As a Parisian, he had a firm grasp on the city so I kept an open mind and followed him to cafés, restaurants, bars and parks. I was simultaneously getting to know him and my new city.
Ellen: Heartbreak is universal but the way that it’s handled can be different depending on where you are. Since you’ve been living in France for many years now, do you notice any differences in the way the French handle breakups from what you were accustomed to in the States?
Lindsey: From what I’ve observed, the French are quick to wear their emotions – heartbreak or joy – on their sleeves. As a people, I generally find them to be more self-reflexive and in touch with their feelings so a breakup is treated as an unfortunate life event that will ultimately teach you something or make you stronger. Their approach for healing, however, seems to be similar to the way Americans would handle their pain: they surround themselves with close friends and keep living, keep pushing forward. Perhaps the sole difference between the two is that the French tend not to wallow the way Americans might.
Ellen: If you had to send one thing to a friend who had just been broken up with, what would it be?
Lindsey: My time and patience – friends in the throes of heartache require their loved ones to invest their time in listening, understanding, commiserating and sharing advice. It isn’t a magic cure but it’s the most important element to getting on the right path toward healing.
Ellen: Knowing what you know now, what would you say to the 7-years-ago version of yourself that was “smarting from heartbreak”?
Lindsey: It WILL be okay. Things WILL play out the way they are meant to. Just hold on, beautiful things await.
We couldn’t agree more.