Three Ways to Make the Post-Breakup Move Easier


Gabrielle White

So it’s all happening – your partner is moving out of your place, you’re moving out of theirs, or you’re both headed in different directions. Packing that first box can feel like a feat of courage akin to climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.

If you’ve decided that living together is no longer sustainable or beneficial for your relationship, or if you’ve ended your relationship altogether, here are some thoughts on transitioning through that climb: the moving out process.

Do your packing solo.

It may be helpful to organize between yourselves some alone time to do the bulk of the packing. There are probably enough reminders of a dead relationship everywhere you look – having your ex within earshot will probably only make matters worse. Giving each other some space to do the necessary work can ease some of the pressure or anxiety so that you can just get the job done quickly.

Take action swiftly.

On that note, getting the job done quickly is important, too. Dragging feet are a sign of indecision or worse, a tendency to leave a former partner in limbo. If you’re the one leaving, aim to condense your move into as little coming-and-going as possible to minimize pain for the other person. It’s also a compassionate gesture to make sure not to leave behind any of your things; regardless of who did the breaking up, take the high road and don’t force anyone to live with reminders.

Start fresh where possible.

Our environment and the things in it are more than a backdrop for our lives; they are extensions of our self and of our life narrative. For this reason, it might be helpful to start over as much as possible when settling into your new living situation. Purge where possible – if you haven’t touched, used, or worn something in a while, chances are you won’t need it any time soon.

Moving out is a crossroads, an opportunity to create the kinds of conditions that set us up to get us closer to being who we want to be. While we’re totally guilty of dwelling on all the reasons that moving out stings, this time of life has such huge potential for positive transformation.

In the midst of trying to remember who bought those wooden spoons, or feeling the primal urge to defend your things, it is possible to make the process a tiny bit more comfortable. Now, with U-Haul in tow, you are on the road to mending already.

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