Five Signs That You're Actually the Rebound


Chanelle Henry

In your gut, it feels “too good to be true.” Clichés exist for a reason. Did they say they just broke up with their ex? Wait, did they say they were just legally separated? These questions that pop up matter because they’re the red, yellow and black flags being thrown by your body’s internal referee. Here are four more red flags to pay attention to…

You find yourself giving more than the other (and not financially): I am guilty of this. Mainly because I’m a giver, and I just love for people to feel special and needed. But this is not the only love language! I realized that after a while it was almost a chore to give, not because I didn’t want to, but because they were making me feel badly for caring that much. That’s usually a sign that they don’t want to be invested in, and you should put your emotional money in something else. Move on.

You always have to be the one to initiate time to hang out: Remember in the beginning when you couldn’t stop being around each other, but then one day it just stopped? That’s a sign. Either they found who they really wanted, or the allure has worn off, or they are unsure that they want to hang out altogether. Move on.

They don’t have to buy the cow: Well, our grandmothers taught us this. What’s the point of sticking around if you’re giving the milk for free? I won’t even go into detail about this, and I know sex is more casual in the era we live in, but at some point you start to see the downsides of just being “too available.” Move on.

Everything is on their schedule: Again, remember when you used to call and they just wanted to spend time with you no matter what? Now it seems like you can only do things when it’s convenient for them. Don’t give your power away by bending your life to their schedule. Just cut it off and, yes you know the rest. Move on.

Hopefully this helps to avoid some of that pain from being a rebound. And if you are thinking of moving forward with any rebound dating, just be mature and communicate all of your needs and expectations up front. Don’t be afraid of confrontation, don’t get upset if feelings arise, and be kind to yourself and the other person involved.

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