Nothing feels better than getting rid of things you don’t need any more come spring. Those jeans that no longer fit? Hasta la vista, baby. That George Foreman Grill that homes a cluster of black widow babies? Gone!
It can feel even better to clean out the folks who clutter our hearts with mild to rampant dread. They are:
1. Mr./Ms. Need For Speed
This is the person who sees you across a crowded room and it’s Love At First Sight. But, as soon as you’re convinced they’re a good bet and decide to invest in the relationship, they freak, ice you out and run as fast as they can, leaving you dazed and confused.
2. Mr./Ms. Mopes A Lot
This is the person who resists doing anything for you or the relationship. They especially don’t want to get to know your friends, family, or anyone who truly loves you because they actually know they’re not treating you well and realize your true loved ones will sense it.
3. Mr./Ms. One-Way Street
They have needs, but you can’t have any. For instance, they ask for favors: Can you pick up their laundry? Can you do their laundry? Can you type up a report for them at the last minute, even though you need to get to work? But, if you ask them to do something they act like you’re asking them to drywall your entire apartment.
4. Mr. /Ms. You Suck
Once this person knows they’ve got you hooked, they slowly but surely begin a campaign of criticism. It may begin with teasing. Then it escalates to full-blown character assassination, “You’re too needy or neurotic.” “You’re paranoid if you think I’m cheating.” People like this want control. They want you to fill their emotional and sexual needs while making you feel so inadequate that you don’t feel entitled to have any needs at all.
5. Mr./Ms. Continue at Your Own Risk
This is the person who wears their dysfunction on their sleeve. For many, this type is catnip. You might delude yourself into thinking the love of a good person could heal them and turn them into a loving, appreciative person! Danger, danger!
6. Mr./Ms. KGB Agent
Don’t ask this person too much. This person doesn’t want you anywhere near their phone, tablet, or computer. They say if you could just trust them and give them privacy, then eventually they will trust you and give you more access. This is particularly suspicious if you’ve been dating months and even years. If you don’t trust them this could be smoke from an infidelity fire.
Who will you spring clean from your life this season?