An Open Letter To The Boy Who Cheated


Kate Paguinto

I want to start by saying that I love you so much. Being with you has been one of the greatest adventures of my life and I will always hold you in my heart.

I’m sorry that things didn’t work out the way we wanted them to. We both tried our best, but at the end of the day, trust was broken and there really isn’t much we can do. I hope you know that despite everything, I don’t regret being with you, nor do I regret giving you a second chance after what you did.

I know you meant it when you said you were sorry and I know you tried your best to make things right. I truly appreciate your effort. I am so honored to have been a part of your life at all. You gave me so much even when you had little to give. You were patient and kind and never stopped trying to make me happy. You’ve taught me to be a better, more understanding, and more open minded person. You gave me a love that I will always remember and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I know I wasn’t always easy to be with. I have a tendency to get emotional and jealous and insecure, but you stuck with me anyway. I’m sorry if I ever did anything to hurt you or make you believe that I didn’t love you with everything I had. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and I’m sorry if I wasn’t always the best at showing it. Maybe that’s why you did what you did. You must have suffered some sort of discontent or else you wouldn’t have felt it necessary to cheat.

I shared my family, my friends, and my home with you. I shared my whole self with you. I let you see me when I was vulnerable and scared and I let my walls down for you. Still, you chose someone else over me. I wanted so badly to be angry with you because I thought it would make it easier for me to leave, but in all honesty, I’m not angry. Although, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt. You hurt me in a way I would never want anyone else to experience. But I forgive you. And I will always care about you. However, I will always have it in the back of my mind that I was not good enough, and I sincerely hope that one day you will find someone who is.

As much as I would love to work things out, I could never subject you to a life with someone you are not fully content with. You deserve to be with someone you can choose everyday–not just when things are easy. You deserve to be with someone you can be honest with when you have a problem instead of seeking comfort in someone else. Clearly, I am not that person.

And I’m sure you can understand that I deserve better, too. I deserve someone who will fight for me. Someone who will choose me and be loyal to me regardless of the hardships we may face in our relationship. I deserve to have a peace of mind in knowing that my partner will not betray my trust. Thinking about a future without you absolutely breaks my heart. We’ve been through so much together. Zero to 100, we used to say.

Through the ups and downs and everything in between. Seeing you when you had nothing and being there through all your victories showed me what an incredibly hard working individual you are and I am so proud of how far you’ve come. Still, it hurts knowing that I will not be around to share in your success. It hurts knowing that someone else will be there pushing you forward and helping you along the way. But everyone who enters your life has a purpose in it and I guess I must have already served mine.

So for now, I think I need to let you go. You have such big things ahead of you and I know you will get far. It’s not fair for me to hold you here while I try to figure out what I need. I know you can’t be my friend for obvious reasons, and though it hurts me to not have you around, I need to respect the fact that you need time and space. Maybe I do, too. Again, I want you to know that I am not angry or bitter. I still love you very much and I am so thankful for all of our little adventures. I hope that one day we can come to a point where neither of us is hurting and we can truly be friends.

Until then, I wish you the best. You’re in my heart.

More Advice:

Love Is Like A Plant Episode: Why We Cheat + What To Do About It

Ask Stef: My Ex (Who Cheated On Me) Wants To Get Coffee. Should I Go?

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