An Open Letter to the Friend Who Saw Me through My Breakup



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By Ashley Duvan



Breakups are hard. They’re ugly and mean and unapologetic. They bring out the worst in people: a side that, sometimes, no one even knew existed.

I was chatting with a friend once who compared their breakup to the loss of a limb. Because that’s exactly what it feels like.

It feels like someone has taken a part of our bodies away from us: the ugly, murderous, chopping off of a leg, or the cruel severance of an entire arm that we’re so accustomed to having.

We function normally with it; it is a part of our being. And then, just like that, we are left without it: our partner is suddenly gone, the leg that held one side of our body standing is ripped from underneath us.

We feel alone, incomplete, and worst of all, completely and utterly naked. The vulnerability is palpable, and it becomes a difficult, hard, rough time in our lives.

To the friend who stuck with me during my breakup, who never left my side when I was annoying and needy and anxious:

Thank you for knowing that this too shall pass.

Thank you for knowing that this isn’t me.

Thank you for listening even when I told you the same thing for the 20th time in a row.

Thank you for not judging me for acting crazy.

Thank you for being my voice of reason.

Thank you for drinking tequila on the living room floor with me…

And for letting me ugly-cry after 8 shots of Cuervo.

Thank you for saying f*ck boys with me.

Thank you for making me shave my legs, do my nails, and put on some lip gloss…

When all I wanted to do was cry in bed.

Thank you for being strong for me, when I felt so incredibly weak.

Thank you for helping me see when I was so blind in the center of the storm.

Thank you for never leaving me, and for being there for me when I needed you most.

Thank you for getting me through this mess. I’ll never forget how good you’ve been to me. And even when I don’t say it, the love and friendship you give to me, never, ever goes unnoticed.

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Ashley Duvan

I'm a thoroughbred New Yorker who would rather live out of a backpack than an apartment. Some people think I'm bonkers, but I just think I'm free.

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