How It Feels When Everyone Is Getting Married and Having Babies


Andrea Lightfoot

Today, after sitting with two fellow bridesmaids at a local Starbucks where we planned our dear friends upcoming bridal shower, I found myself perplexed.

Here we were perusing Pinterest pinning our favorite ideas and coming up with the menu for our brunch themed shower. But I couldn’t shake just how crazy it was that we were planning a bridal shower in the first place.

Didn’t we just graduate high school?

I took a mental break by scrolling through my Instagram feed, saw a few inspirational before and after shots of flabby bellies to toned six-packs, a cute puppy, and then…an adorable newborn baby. A baby whose mommy was a a grade below me in high school. How precious is she, I thought to myself, how happy that baby’s mommy and daddy must feel gazing into their sleepy newborns eyes.

Before I knew it, us bridesmaids were done chit-chatting, we came up with some fantastic ideas and ended the meeting feeling excited. I had to immediately call one of the out-of-town bridesmaids (who happens to be my BFF) to fill her in on what we just came up with. She too thought everything sounded just lovely.

“I still can’t believe she’s getting married, it seems like just yesterday we were talking about what this time in our lives would look like, and now here we are, planning weddings.”

We went on for a while, back and forth reminiscing on our past, our present, and the near future. And that’s when she told me…

“He’s going to propose to me in the next year, I’ve already started a Pinterest of rings I like!”

While I already knew about this exciting information, it really sunk in this time: holy smokes, everyone is getting married.

I took a mental break to check the recent Snapchat stories that my digital friends had posted. A mixture of food porn, cats, selfies, and…babies. That’s right, another person around my age had their baby. So flippin’ cute, I thought to myself.

My phone conversation with my BFF came to an end, we both had to tend to our adult duties (dishes and homework), and told one another that we’d chat soon.

I dove into my essay that was due that Tuesday, a 5-page paper on the relationship between marriage and love. It took me another 20 minutes to realize that my paper was a reflection of my entire morning thus far.

I took a mental break to scroll through suggested images on Instagram’s “explore posts” tab. Damn, that’s some good contouring, wow I wish I could travel there, holy shit what a beautiful ring…

And before I knew it I was 122 weeks deep on a jewelry page that specialized in vintage inspired engagement rings. I probably double-tapped twenty images, each a dazzling ring fit for an old soul princess.

Holy crap. Here I was tapping away at rings, unconsciously picking out what kind of engagement rings I liked. I don’t even have a boyfriend. Did I just turn into one of those people who pin’s their entire wedding before they’re even in a relationship?

No. I didn’t. Did I? No…

It wasn’t until just now as I was writing this, that I realized the many different paths people take. That while some people’s futures are so crystal clear right now, mine is as blurry as your grandma trying to read her text message with no glasses. And that’s okay. And it’s okay to look at rings, or to not have a baby right now. It’s also great that other people are.

So, I guess what I’m saying is…just because it feels like everyone on your news feed is getting married and having babies, doesn’t mean that that’s what your supposed to be doing too. That’s their life, and I’m happy for them, truly. And I’m happy for my life too. As foggy and pixely as it may be, my life is exactly where it’s supposed to be: helping plan bridal showers, finishing school, prepping for my travels, and being a supportive friend and family member.

So, congratulations to all of you engaged, married, pregnant, and new parents out there. What an amazing time in your life!

And congratulations to all of you struggling college, newly single, freshly moved out, and confused people out there. What a time it is to be alive!

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