How To Break Up With Someone When You're Scared of Being Alone


Laura Yates

Sometimes, the thought of staying in a relationship that you’re not happy in can be easier than walking away and facing the fear of being alone, especially if there isn’t anything particularly ‘wrong’ with the relationship. Even if the person you’re with isn’t treating you right or is behaving in ways that go against your values, staying with them can feel like the safest option.

What’s important to ask yourself when going through this, though, is that while you might fear being lonely out of the relationship, are you already feeling a sense of loneliness and unhappiness in the relationship itself?

Your worries about stepping into the unknown are absolutely normal and it’s probably comforting to know that everyone feels that at some point. It’s scary. Especially if you’ve been in your relationship for a while or are used to being in a relationship. But all it is, is the unknown. What you gain from stepping out of something that isn’t making you happy, is the chance to embrace yourself and your life on your own terms. To take back control of your life and make what you want to happen, happen.

A great tip is to use journaling to work through this. Just take even 10 minutes to sit and write about everything that’s going though your mind. What you’re scared of. Your fears. Let it all out and don’t judge what’s coming out onto the page. What this can do is help you to get perspective and see that many of your worries are probably things that you don’t even know to be true because they’re in the future. When you reflect back on your words, you can also start to find solutions easier.

That fear can also be a signpost to show you that having time alone to reconnect with yourself is probably the thing you need the most. To do things you love, rediscover who you are, your passions, what you want, your goals and values. The period after a breakup can be overwhelming at first, but it’s also such a gift. So try and see this as an opportunity.

If you know your relationship isn’t right, step away from it. You have the strength to get through that more than you realize. You also have the power to be responsible for your own happiness. The unknown might feel scary right now, but soon you will thank yourself for giving yourself the freedom and fulfillment you’re not able to feel in this relationship.

The right one will be out there. Remember, the end of this relationship is the pathway to a better one when the time is right.

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