How To Handle Your First Birthday Without Your Ex

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By Laura Yates


Despite birthdays being a time of celebration, when you’re newly single, they can often feel quite lonely. It’s really easy to think back to previous birthdays with your ex and feel down at how this one might compare. So here are a few tips to help you over the hump:

Know It's Normal

First of all, just know that what you’re experiencing is completely normal and it’s ok to feel moments of pain or sadness on your birthday. It doesn’t mean however, that this birthday has to be one that you just forget or let pass you by. You can take full control over how much fun you want to have and are capable of having. It’s just about reframing what your birthday means to you this year.

Remind Yourself Why It Didn't Work 

Choose to think differently. Whilst this birthday will be different to the last one with your ex, it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be ‘bad’. Try and keep in mind that you are still better off out of a relationship that wasn’t quite right. So, see this birthday as an opportunity to embrace a brand new and exciting chapter instead of comparing it to the past. All you have is the present moment and you get to decide what you want that to look and feel like.

Surround Yourself With Other Types Of Love

Spend it with people who you love. Even if you decide that you want a more low-key birthday, that is more than ok. But try and focus on spending it with loved ones and appreciating those around you rather than dwelling on your ex not being around. When you can switch your thinking to one of gratitude you can’t help but feel much better about where you’re at right now. 

Change It Up!

Do something out of the ordinary! It’s your birthday and it’s about you. Be ‘extra’! Treat yourself to something a little more lavish that you might not usually splurge on, take yourself out somewhere you’ve always been curious about trying, do something fun and crazy, or arrange to celebrate somewhere completely different with friends. Make this birthday one to remember by creating new memories that mark it!

Set Intentions

What do you want to attract in over this next year? What do you want to let go of? Perhaps you could set a completely new intention to live by such as saying ‘yes’ more to opportunities and invitations or even saying ‘no’ to things that don’t serve you or make you happy. Perhaps you want to spend more time getting to know yourself again on a deeper level. Getting focused on what you want to create, call in or how you want to live your life can be a great thing to do on your birthday and pacify the temptation to dwell on the past.

Congratulate Yourself

Your birthday is actually a perfect opportunity to acknowledge how far you’ve come since your breakup. You’re still here, you’re ok and you will continue to get stronger and thrive. Your birthday might have triggered painful memories but by tomorrow, that will be over. 

Remember, this is just another day and you get to choose how you want to remember it. So, feel good that you’ve made it this far and remind yourself how much strength that has taken. And happy birthday!

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Laura Yates

Laura is a coach, writer and speaker specialising in helping people to bounce back, relieve stress in their lives, heal and transform their everyday. Laura has been featured in VICE, Glamour, Match.com, Eharmony and the Daily Mail plus others. You can find Laura, her blog and website at www.laurayates.org

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