Weddings have the holy trinity of a good time–food, drinks, and music–unless you’re single. The dread of wedding season when you’re single starts as early as when you’re sending the RSVP without a plus one and lasts long after the last barefoot guest tiptoes off the dance floor.
The thing is, you don’t want to feel so down about one of your best friends getting married because you’re truly happy for them. It’s just hard to stay cheery about love when you’re mending from a breakup.
The good news is there are some ways you can get through wedding season without dragging your feet. Actually, you might even enjoy it!
Bring a friend as a plus one.
Often it’s the anxiety of attending the wedding by yourself that makes it feel so dreadful. If you’re given a plus one, there’s no rule that you’re only allowed to attend with a romantic partner. Ask a friend to come along, that way you have their support to get you through it.
Prep for the annoying questions.
You’ll inevitably run into friends or family that you haven’t seen in a while, and they won’t be able to resist the urge to be nosey. Are you seeing anyone? Why are you still single you’re such a catch? ~rolls eyes at that one~ And then of course, there’s the slew of offers to set you up with a friend or sibling or cousin or coworker that they think you’ll “hit it off with.”
Having a game plan for how to handle this will help you feel at ease on the big day. You can opt to say something like “I’m happy focusing on myself right now, I’ve gone to _____ and plan on doing ______ before the year ends. I’m really excited about it.” You fill in the blanks. This lets them know that you’ll be just fine without going on an awkward blind date with their coworker. Their questions might come from a more concerned place, they know you’ve gone through some heartbreak and they want to see you happy. Shifting the conversation to focus on the things that are making you happy will ease their concerns and allow you to talk about positive things, like your Mend monument.
You can pass on some invites.
Wedding season can get overwhelming, like when there’s a wedding every weekend of the month. Remember, you don’t have to RSVP “going” to each invite. You are your number one priority after a breakup. Mending your heart and engaging in activities that will support you through this delicate and difficult time is what’s most important. If the thought of attending a wedding gives you knots in your stomach and a lump in your throat, it’s probably best to pass. If you’re feeling guilty about skipping out on the wedding, you can send the newlyweds a sweet note celebrating their love.
Make it your time to socialize.
It’s easy to slip into extended isolation after a breakup, but we’re social creatures. We need social connection, especially when working through heartbreak. Use the wedding as an opportunity to get that much-needed socializing. If you don’t know everyone at your table, get to know them! One easy way to break the ice is to ask “how do you know the couple?”
Continue to take care of yourself.
The most important advice to remember is to maintain the self care practices that are helping you mend. Whether it’s gratitude journaling, meditation, a daily walk outside, your daily Mend training, or working out, whatever makes you feel your best, continue to do those that. You can get caught up in the shuffle of shopping for something to wear, getting the gift, and figuring out who to invite as your plus one, and then suddenly you start skipping a day of meditation or you can’t remember the last time you wrote one thing your grateful for. The more you stick to your self care, the better equipped you’ll be to handle whatever comes up for you as you make it through wedding season.