What to Do When You Bump into Your Ex’s Best Friend


By Katerina Torres

Running into your significant other’s friend isn’t some grand event worth mentioning when you’re in a relationship. When you’re broken up, though, the whole experience warrants the full blown romantic comedy treatment. Running into your ex is rough. Bumping into their friends can be worse.

Hear me out.

When you unexpectedly run into your ex, they may make conclusions about you and how you’re doing based on that a one to one interaction. However, when you bump into their friend, lots can get lost with the middleman. Their friends don’t know you in the nuanced way that your ex does, so they could interpret your body language, your responses, and your reaction in a completely different way than you intended.

If you still frequent many of the places you enjoyed with your ex, like coffee shops, brunch spots, and bars, chances are you’ll bump into one of their friends at some point. It’s better to be prepared than be caught off guard. These tips will help you should you ever have an unexpected run in with an ex’s friend.

Acknowledge Them

There’s no need to ignore their presence, especially if you spent a significant amount of time around this friend because you would obviously recognize each other. It’s better to acknowledge each other than tip toe at a restaurant or party hoping not to actually have to speak.

Keep it short

Unless your ex’s friend asks a specific question, you don’t have to provide more details about your life than necessary. The cordial and casual “hey, how are you” catch-up should suffice.

Avoid Ex Talk

You are working on healing your heart and getting into a positive space. Rehashing the relationship’s problems with your ex’s friend will not move you towards greater healing, especially because you already know where that person’s loyalty lies. 

Make the conversation light. Try steering the focus of the conversation on them by asking how their partner is doing or how work is going, anything that opens the floor for them to take over.

Running into your ex’s friends could definitely put you on edge, but it doesn’t have to. If you’re prepared to navigate the conversation in a way that’s cordial and not centered on your ex, you’ll come out of it feeling good.

writer photo

Katerina Torres

Katerina is the Head of Content at Mend. When she’s not cooking up new vegan recipes, she’s binge-watching yet another TV show. Her goal is to be your daily dose of positivity, whether through her writing, videos, or social media posts. You can watch her share bite-sized wellness tips in her weekly video series, Tub Talks.

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