In the days following a breakup, you might find yourself with some spare time on your hands. Rather than spend it backtracking your entire relationship, with tissues at arm's length, how about picking up a book that will pivot you towards the future you can't quite imagine right now?
Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan J. Elliott is the perfect read when you’re in the early stages of a breakup. It covers how to handle breakups and provides a plan that's similar to the author’s in-person workshops. It walks you through how to break off contact, how to stop reaching out to your ex, how to work through grief, and ultimately how to take back control of your life.
Throughout the book, you'll find a focus on self-exploration and learn new boundaries. It will inspire you to shift from a victim mentality to one of empowerment. As you work your way through this read, you'll be motivated to become the best version of yourself, even after heartbreak.
Elliott's writing is accessible yet compassionate, kind, warm, and completely non-judgemental. The book includes activities that inspire self-reflection, helping you feel more relaxed and empowered.
A key chapter to note is Chapter 2: The Rules of Disengagement. This chapter is devoted to explaining why no contact with an ex is so important. It’s probably one of the biggest challenges that come with going through a breakup. The chapter delves into why you need to separate emotionally, physically, and mentally from your ex in order for healing to take place.
Even though we know cutting contact is the wisest thing to do, putting it into practice is a different story. Chapter 2 includes a series of questions to ask yourself in order to get to the core of why you want to reach out to your ex. It also gets to the heart of why needing closure is actually a construct of the mind. This chapter alone could do wonders for healing your broken heart.
Getting Past Your Breakup is full of so many incredible quotes that will make you think about your own behaviors and habits. One in particular that stands out reads: “A person chooses a partner with a similar degree of “brokenness” and does a dance of dysfunction where they both know the steps. Therefore, one person cannot be so much healthier than the other. Healthy people do not dance with unhealthy people.”
This quote sheds light on why we might keep going back to an unhealthy relationship. The practical exercises encourage you to look deeper than the relationship itself and do the inner work that will get you to a healthy place.
By the end of this book, you will understand what a healthy and fulfilling relationship is and what that looks like for you. You'll also gain a fresh perspective on what a happy and healthy life means for you. We hope it encourages you to reflect and take a deeper dive into healing your heartbreak.