Why Do We Attempt to Win at Breakups?



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As James Baldwin said: “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive."

Sharing your story is an important part of healing (it's called ""emotional disclosure"" in psychology), whether you share with a friend, journal or therapist. It's also important to hear these stories because you will see that someone else has been there; someone else has made it through, and so will you.

This week's roundup of stories...

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"But as hooking up rapidly expanded into a series of miniature ­marriages — and miniature divorces made more confounding by social-media omnipresence and cell-phone butt dials — I’ve come to think millennial romances are defined not by their casual beginnings but their disastrous ends. We aren’t the hookup generation; we’re the breakup generation."

-Maureen O'Connor on the millennial 'Breakup Generation' and how we attempt to win at breakups (nymag.com)

"One of the hardest things about being dumped is realizing that the person who dumped you probably isn’t suffering as badly as you are."

-Karley Sciortino on the pain of being the dumpee in her breakup (vogue.com)

"He’ll come home eventually.
I should Facebook message his sister.
I can’t wait to tell him I might move to San Francisco.
I’m relieved I don’t have to like his douchey friend anymore."

-Nicole Cifani shares a list of legitimate things that go through your mind after a breakup (medium.com)