Why It’s Important to Own Your Baggage

Some parts of a breakup stay with us for the long-term, and unfortunately, it’s usually the negative stuff that sticks around. Often whatever we felt went wrong in the relationship materializes into baggage that we carry with us from relationship to relationship. With each new relationship we might drop some baggage and pick up another, or just add on to what we were already carrying. And it. gets. heavy.

We’re big believers of the importance of owning your baggage. When you give yourself the time and opportunity to reflect on your baggage, you’re able to start the process of releasing it. But that requires that you own it first.

Because we know how transformative it is to own your baggage, we wanted to encourage Menders to do the same. That’s why we launched the Own Your Baggage contest, as a way to remind you that owning your baggage doesn’t have to be a bad thing and could actually be quite healing. We all have baggage and shouldn’t feel any shame about it, which is why Team Mend shared their own baggage to kick things off.

Each response has shown us that you too are committed to owning your baggage. We’re sharing a few entries below, and hope it encourages you to know that you aren’t alone in working through baggage.

“That I am too much. That somehow my personality is too big or I’m too outgoing or too independent for someone to be comfortable with.”

– Christy B.

“That I’m not worth the love I receive. That every relationship will be like the last, and the fear of being in this perpetual cycle of bad relationships.”

– Nicole W.

“That my divorce means I’m ‘damaged goods’ and unwanted.”

– Cindy N.

“What if I never learn how to commit for real?”

– Jon M.

“That the next woman I fall in love with is going to hurt me more than the last.”

– Angeline A.

“Fear of abandonment, and trust issues. Also honesty with how I’m feeling.”

– Chris K.

“That I will never be as important to someone as their ex was.” 

– Zena W.

“I feel like I missed my ‘window’ to be in a relationship, and now I’m too old to be considered eligible.”

– Julia A.

“I fear that being honest about my feelings makes me unattractive to women, so I feel pressure to always present myself as if nothing is bothering me and I’m now afraid of committing to just one person, because I cannot handle the heartbreak of losing them if I have no one else.”

– Chris M.

If you haven’t entered the contest yet, click here to share your baggage.

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