Why You Should Go On A Date Even If You're Not Excited About It


By Katerina Torres

Dating after getting your heart broken could feel a lot like diving into swim hole—filled with so much unknown. It might sound exciting at first but once it’s staring you in the face, you want to run in the other direction. 

Even months after your breakup, dating can still feel more like something you have to do and less like something you want to do. That’s because you’re most likely processing dates as something that will live long into the future instead of taking them for what they are: a few hours of getting to know someone.

It’s not easy to change your mentality towards dating. I’ve been there before, spending more time making up excuses for why I need to cancel than thinking about interesting topics to bring up in conversation. But over time I’ve learned that it’s good to go on dates, even when I’m not excited about them.

First off, dates are a lot like interviews, so if nothing else, you’re at least polishing up your professional skills. You’ll be grateful for those few awkward minutes of silence during dates when they’ve taught you how to keep the dialogue flowing throughout your next job interview.

Which brings me to the next good outcome of going on dates: you usually learn something new. Everyone has a different journey, passion, and perspective, and on a date, you get to know a little about all of that stuff. That date you were on the brink of canceling, might introduce you to what will go on to become your future passion project. You never know!

And even though your heart might not be in it, going on a date is a great distraction. For a few hours, you get enthralled in an experience with someone else. This time away from pining over your ex will slowly start opening you up to new people, experiences, and eventually love.

writer photo

Katerina Torres

Katerina is the Head of Content at Mend. When she’s not cooking up new vegan recipes, she’s binge-watching yet another TV show. Her goal is to be your daily dose of positivity, whether through her writing, videos, or social media posts. You can watch her share bite-sized wellness tips in her weekly video series, Tub Talks.

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