Going through a breakup is like surviving a car accident. Sometimes it’s a fender bender that can be easily fixed. But sometimes it’s a harrowing accident that leaves your heart completely totaled.
Regardless of the severity of your emotional injuries, breakups can be brutal and life-changing. And we have to go through them alone.
But after enough time, the most excruciating pain — which you thought would never end — starts to subside.
Every day, you think of your ex less and less. Eventually, you no longer think of him or her at all. You’ve licked your wounds and rehabilitated yourself. You’ve stopped focusing on the mess you’ve left; you think of your new goals instead.
Then, one day, you lay your head on your pillow at night and realize that, by some miracle, your ex is absent from your thoughts.
While you were busy living your life, love’s splinter finally fell out. And suddenly, you’re aware of all of the signs that mean you’re completely over your ex.
1. You can look at couples without wanting to die inside.
2. You’re perfectly content with coming home to yourself.
3. You look at a photo of your ex and see a familiar face, at most — NOT the love of your life.
4. You stop obsessively checking certain social media pages.
5. You’re genuinely happy when your ex moves on and finds someone else.
6. You no longer fantasize about getting back together. Instead, you now envision your wedding day with a mystery groom or bride.
7. The hurt is gone, and you make yourself happy every day (It turns out that having no feelings can be the best feeling).
8. You don’t cry yourself to sleep anymore.
9. Your ex isn’t on your mind when you wake up and go to sleep.
10. The memories you have of your relationship are like honey after the bees have left the hive: You can experience their sweetness without being stung.
11. You’re not waiting for a text that will never come.
12. You find the actual journey in movies and stories more exciting than the “happy ending.”
13. You acknowledge that it’s okay to get a little sad sometimes that this person is no longer in your life, but you’re no longer distressed by the thought.
14. You see a little piece of a boyfriend/girlfriend in everyone during your day (that guy who smiles at you when he hands you a newspaper every morning is your morning beau; you’re smitten when the 7-Eleven cashier wishes you a good night).
15. You’re open to finding a new partner, but you’re in no rush.
16. You feel strong. You’ve survived all five stages of grief, so you feel like Hercules after he conquered his 12 labors. You’ve done your time, and you know you can do anything you set your mind to.
17. You focus more on your career, hobbies, family and friends than on finding love.
18. Activities are no longer distractions, because you’re not thinking about your ex anymore. They’re things you love to do for the sake of doing them.
19. You can listen to both breakup and love songs without getting teary-eyed.
20. You’re hopeful instead of resentful.
21. When something amazing or crazy happens to you, your ex isn’t the first person you think to call.
22. You cuddle pillows without pretending they’re your ex.
23. You’ve accepted that it’s better to be single and happy than in a relationship and miserable.
24. Your eyes don’t light up when you say or hear your ex’s name. If you mention your former love at all, it’s like you’re describing a distant friend.
25. Your ex becomes more and more of a ghost in your mind; your past together becomes less and less real.
26. No couple costumes come to mind when you think of Halloween.
27. In fact, you’re fine with being single for the holidays.
28. You no longer think of the cinema as a minefield for couples. You go with your friends, siblings, cousins or alone.
29. Romantic movies are fair game again. You’re no longer Elle Woods throwing chocolate and screaming “LIAR” at every cheesy scene.
30. You’d rather throw yourself into your work instead of the arms of a rebound.
31. You stop caring how big her boobs are or how big his d*ck is. You’d rather find the right person instead of the right package.
32. You stop making excuses to contact your past love. If your Wii stops working you call Nintendo, not your ex.
33. If your ex still has some of your possessions that aren’t particularly valuable, you forget about them.
34. Items you kept for sentimental reasons become only objects. Your three-year-anniversary necklace is now just another piece of jewelry.
35. A car with the same color as your ex’s is now just a car.
36. When you get lonely, you don’t mope; you fight through it. You hold your own hand and grab your own ass.
37. You’re actually relieved you don’t have to buy a present for a long time.
38. You daydream about what your future partner will be like.
39. You realize two people can love each other and still be in an unhealthy relationship. Fire can fall in love with ice, but that union isn’t sustainable. Some people have to be loved from a distance, and that’s okay.
40. You believe in true love again, but you know that your ex wasn’t yours.