9 Things to Do Instead of Contacting Your Ex



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By Katerina Torres


Sometimes the hardest part of a breakup is the no contact. It’s something you know you have to do for yourself in order to mend, but it’s so freaking difficult not to call them when you have an exciting new life update or text when you’re watching the TV show you watched together religiously. How many times have you had to snap yourself out of texting them when you’re midway through typing a lengthy paragraph? We’ve all been there.

Life with no contact doesn’t have to feel like a constant state of withdrawal. It can be exhilarating to reclaim that time you’d spend exchanging jabs and use it in a more productive manner. We’ve come up with a list of things you can do instead of texting your ex. The next time you get the itch to reach out to them, do one of these things instead!

1. Meditate

Now more than ever you need to quiet your mind. The desire to contact your ex is raging loudly up there, so you need to clear your mind and make space for uplifting thoughts that will benefit you. Take a few minutes to meditate and come back to the present moment feeling refreshed and less anxious to pull the trigger on that text.

2. Phone A Friend

Call or text a friend that won’t judge you for your desire to contact your ex. Ask her to remind you why you’re not together, to give you reasons why you shouldn’t call your ex, or just to make you laugh in the way only she can. This will scratch that itch to make contact, you’re just diverting the contact to someone who hasn’t broken your heart.

3. Take A Phone Break

This is probably the perfect time to tuck your phone away in another room of the house and leave it on silent. Giving yourself time away from a phone will open you up to other things to do around the house other than pine over shooting off that text that’s on your mind. Sometimes it’s just the feel of the phone in our hand that heightens our temptation to make contact.

4. Go to A Workout Class

The urge to contact your ex could feel deflating. You’ve done all this work to move on but you still want to talk to them. It’s a good time to sign up for the next available work out class since it will be a healthy distraction and a sweat session will release endorphins which will turn those feelings of defeat into ones of victory!

5. Visit A Friend

Get out of the house and visit a friend you haven’t hung out with in a while. Having someone’s company will keep you entertained and your focus will be on them, not your ex.

6. Learn A New Skill

We’ve curated an entire Pinterest board of new skills for you to learn. From roller skating to knitting a chunky quilt, there are plenty of things you don’t yet know how to do. Picking up some new skills will feel empowering and will give you something to consistently go back to whenever you start thinking about breaking no contact.

7. Run Yourself The Perfect Bath

There’s nothing I love more than a relaxing hot bath. Grab your iPad, a book, some magazines, and run a hot bath with some lavender essential oils and bubbles. Prop up your iPad on a bathtub caddy and find a movie or TV show to watch on Netflix. Enjoy this alone time and sacred self care practice.

8. Get Outside

A little fresh air can work wonders for shifting your mood. Don’t stay cooped up indoors with the urge to text your ex festering in your head. Get outside for a walk or go for a hike. If you’re lucky enough to live somewhere that has summer year-round, grab a blanket and head to the beach and bask in the sound and breeze of the waves. A little interaction with nature can help you refocus on your plan to remain no contact.

9. Organize Your Closet

Have you been putting off a little cleaning and organizing? Throwing yourself into a project that will make your home feel more peaceful is a great way to distract yourself from contacting your ex. Whether it’s cleaning and organizing your closet or finally building that IKEA shelf you bought months ago, now is the perfect time to do so.

And if you run through all of these and need more ideas, visit Do This Instead!

writer photo

Katerina Torres

Katerina is a contributing editor at Mend. When she’s not cooking up new vegan recipes, she’s binge-watching another TV show. Her goal is to be your daily dose of positivity, whether through her writing, videos, or social media posts. You can watch her share bite-sized wellness tips in her weekly video series, Tub Talks.

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