Lessons Learned After Ending a Marriage



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As James Baldwin said: “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive."

Sharing your story is an important part of healing (it's called ""emotional disclosure"" in psychology), whether you share with a friend, journal or therapist. It's also important to hear these stories because you will see that someone else has been there; someone else has made it through, and so will you.

This week's roundup of stories...

"The web was littered with pictures, videos, check-ins, likes and tweets of our every moment. Now that online reality show that I produced, directed and starred in was there to remind me in an almost demonic tone that I was single and that those images weren’t going anywhere.Now that online reality show that I produced, directed and starred in was there to remind me in an almost demonic tone that I was single and that those images weren’t going anywhere."

- Nick Bilton remembers the pain of online memories after his divorce (nytimes.com)

"Walking away from life as I knew it was never something I'd envisioned. I expected to feel regret and to build stronger boundaries, but instead I found my heart more open than it had ever been. And shockingly, my divorce, more than my marriage, taught me about love."

-Isabeau Miller on the lessons she learned after ending her marriage (mindbodygreen.com)

"If you haven’t yet merited a ceremony honoring your achievements of the heart — wedding, anniversary, baby shower — it’s easy to believe you don’t know much about love. At least, that’s how I felt when I was unattached. But now I understand that that ineffable energy was always stirring inside me; it was just channeled differently. It went to the nice Korean lady making my sandwich at the deli, to the college friend I was meeting for dinner, to the street lamp’s glow sifting through the trees in my neighborhood."

-Sara Eckel on why a single life doesn't mean a loveless life (bostonglobe.com)